"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"
- Oscar Wilde
It's one of those cruel facts of life, how exam time just happens to coincide with the beginning of that formidable bikini season.
If I'm honest, the realisation, on returning home from university (and to the bathroom scales) that I'd gained a few pounds- really not a lot, but more than I had initially felt terribly comfortable with- has made me think a lot this last week. Clearly, my pre-exam tendency for emotional eating had caught up with me: Food 1 - Beth 0.
If I'm honest, the realisation, on returning home from university (and to the bathroom scales) that I'd gained a few pounds- really not a lot, but more than I had initially felt terribly comfortable with- has made me think a lot this last week. Clearly, my pre-exam tendency for emotional eating had caught up with me: Food 1 - Beth 0.
At first, this discovery upset me far more than it really should have done; somewhere inside me I felt as though I'd failed myself, I thought even so far as that I'd ruined myself. I was ashamed that I had "let myself go" so far. Immediately I began obsessively counting calories (something which I had stopped doing over the last year for the sake of my mental well-being) and exercising compulsively. For the entirety of my first week at home when I should have been enjoying some long-awaited relaxation time with friends and family, my very small and insignificant weight gain consumed my thoughts, resulting in a very unhappy me. Until I finally decided enough was enough.
Despite my thinking regarding weight having been admittedly dysfunctional as of late, the reality is that thoughts like these are all too common in the minds of young women (and men) in our society today- the unfortunate product of messages instilled in us by the media that set an impossible standard for outward beauty. In short, the world can be a cruel place for girls, especially when far too often we are estimated solely on our physical appearances as opposed to our personalities, talent and intelligence, and right now in this moment I am saying a big HELL NO to that.
Although it had been a very unhappy week, I will hopefully always say that this particular week of obsessing over my body (as it definitely hadn't been the first one) has done me a massive favour, since eventually when I was completely worn down, I began asking myself was it really all worth it? Either way, I couldn't do it any more.
In that moment I made the decision to accept myself for whoever I was, whatever I looked like and chose to speak truth over myself rather than believing the lies told to me by a society misled.
And that truth is, that you are worth infinitely more than the box anyone decides to put you in. You are a unique package of countless thoughts, experiences, beliefs, opinions, quirks and habits, you are special, and there will never ever be another you. Any time you spend putting yourself down or spend preoccupied by your perceived failings or imperfections is time you will never get back.
I recently heard someone say that you should always treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend, and therefore never tell yourself anything that you would never say to them. I thought this was a great idea, since really life is just too short to spend not being confident in the beautiful person that you are.
If you ever need a little more encouragement, I have started a pinterest board on body love, self-love and just general positivity which you can visit here. I'm sorry this has been a bit of a ranty post but it's just something I've been wanting to get off my chest. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Despite my thinking regarding weight having been admittedly dysfunctional as of late, the reality is that thoughts like these are all too common in the minds of young women (and men) in our society today- the unfortunate product of messages instilled in us by the media that set an impossible standard for outward beauty. In short, the world can be a cruel place for girls, especially when far too often we are estimated solely on our physical appearances as opposed to our personalities, talent and intelligence, and right now in this moment I am saying a big HELL NO to that.
Although it had been a very unhappy week, I will hopefully always say that this particular week of obsessing over my body (as it definitely hadn't been the first one) has done me a massive favour, since eventually when I was completely worn down, I began asking myself was it really all worth it? Either way, I couldn't do it any more.
In that moment I made the decision to accept myself for whoever I was, whatever I looked like and chose to speak truth over myself rather than believing the lies told to me by a society misled.
And that truth is, that you are worth infinitely more than the box anyone decides to put you in. You are a unique package of countless thoughts, experiences, beliefs, opinions, quirks and habits, you are special, and there will never ever be another you. Any time you spend putting yourself down or spend preoccupied by your perceived failings or imperfections is time you will never get back.
I recently heard someone say that you should always treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend, and therefore never tell yourself anything that you would never say to them. I thought this was a great idea, since really life is just too short to spend not being confident in the beautiful person that you are.
If you ever need a little more encouragement, I have started a pinterest board on body love, self-love and just general positivity which you can visit here. I'm sorry this has been a bit of a ranty post but it's just something I've been wanting to get off my chest. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Hope you are all very well. Much love,
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A thoughtful post and oh so true. I'm 33 years old this year and I still feel it! I feel the pressure from the constant stream of images of toned abs and perfect bums! The world is now a place very concentrated on looks but we must remember that pictures on social media are just the superficial surface. Personality, intelligence and a sense of humour is what will get you far and bring happiness in the end :)
ReplyDeleteLovely blog hun. I'm going to share this post on my Twitter.
Caroline x
www.cocktailsandcaroline.com
Oh wow, Caroline, thank you very much indeed! And yes! haha, the struggle is real!! Your blog is truly gorgeous :) xxx
DeleteEveryone puts on weight at university, I just daren't look at the scales at the moment. I know I was eating poorly this past semester but I've decided to focus on making myself feel healthier and better rather than get fixated on getting my weight back down!
ReplyDeleteMegan x | MeganRoisinn
Yeah I think that's a really good approach! I've actually been enjoying exercise a lot more since I've been sort of incorporating it into my routine :) xxx
DeleteThis is a really lovely post and also so true. I can sometimes be really hard on myself and expect way too much, I pressure myself into loosing weight, working out and eating healthy and then when I crack Im so hard on myself and say such means things too myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm a lot better than I use to be when I was younger, and I think accepting yourself is so important. We need to realise that our worth is not measured by how much we weigh, and that we are wonderful, talented, kind, funny people and that we should celebrate ourselves. Obviously keeping healthy is important, but loving yourself is important too.
This is such a lovely post I think more people need to read it. :)
Emma x
Writing Essays With Wine
Thank you so much Emma! Yes, exactly, celebrating ourselves for who we are as an individual is so much more important than trying to meet other people's impossible ideals! Thank you so much for reading :) xxx
DeleteThis is so beautifully put Beth and I'm glad you managed to break the cycle of negative thinking. It's so sad that this pressure is still out there on all of us to live up to some bonkers ideal, even now at 30 I feel it so very often. But you hit the nail on the head, we should all just be a little kinder to ourselves and treat ourselves with the same love and respect we would any other person (and that's not bitching, griping, moaning or judging!)
ReplyDeleteLove this post.
M x Life Outside London
Thank you very much, Michelle! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :) xx
DeleteThis is a beautiful post and really hones in on what everyone sadly feels at some point in their lives.
ReplyDeleteAt the start of the year I was the same, obsessing over calories and going to gym at least 6 times a week. I exhausted myself, and I was miserable. Now I'm trying to get myself back to normal but it's proving pretty hard. This post has definitely helped!
My blog only launched a few days ago but I've had plans for a long time to create a 'self-confidence' campaign with it - trying to help myself and others love themselves. I'd love for you to read my blog when these posts finally get published! I'll be sure to retweet the link to this post as I think it's amazing!
Really fantastic post Beth, remember that you are beautiful! :)
Hazel Jane x
hazeljane.co.uk
Thank you Hazel! I totally understand that, it's a really hard habit to break out of with the mentality that often comes with it, but I'm so glad you want to try and break that cycle. I will definitely check out your blog and wish you all the best! xxx
DeleteDefinitely a hard thing to get out of, but by us all supporting each other we can hopefully learnt o love ourselves more! Which is why I loved this post so much! :) Will definitely be reading the rest of your blog :) xxx
DeleteAmazing post. I just got back from a beach-side holiday and I didn't realise how nervous I was to step out in a bikini, it was ridiculous. But I stepped out in it anyway and I realised that no one was even looking at my body, they were too busy enjoying themselves! It's a hard cycle to break but it feels amazing once it's done xx
ReplyDeletewhatlaurendidtoday.blogspot.co.uk x